…that I use this site to vent more than anything. lol.
Today was a pretty good day overall. Got up early, went to breakfast, did this and that with a couple of friends and had a pretty awesome time. I love days like that because it seems like everyone can just take a break from whatever it is that has been bothering them for the past few days, weeks, months…or however long.
I hate it when people from the past get brought up in conversation in a not so flattering light and when i’m in a not so flattering mood. Sometimes it just ruins the whole day. For one reason or another my attention was brought to a certain group of people that have really disgusted and hurt me over time. Which, i’m sure i’ve done the same to them, in a sense…but definitely not to the same extreme. There are times when this group crosses my mind, and i’m at peace and I WANT to feel peaceful and friendly and embrace some type of positivity…but there are other times when I think of bad memories and my heart and mind is filled with nothing but betrayal and disgust and I just wish I could have my way and put those same thoughts in everyone else’s mind. Selfish, I know. But this is also my blog and I can say whatever I want to in it.
I want to believe people, I want to trust people and surround myself with those I consider “friends”…but at this point there are so few if any I can really call “friends”…for one reason or another, the paranoia of someone back-stabbing me is almost always there and I trust no one. So i’ll cling to myself and that’s all I feel like I have. But this is something that comes and goes. Maybe next week will be completely different, for the better or the worse…eh…who knows.
I haven’t slept in forever. I’m dead tired. Maybe my thoughts aren’t even making sense and I just need to type this to feel better or to feel a type of release. Oh well..for now, i’m going to remain as happy as I can.
Peace. ^.^
